Facing up to the fact that a certain someone will be unable to share your special day with you - well, saying it’s tough is an understatement.
Coping with losing your nearest and dearest is hard at the best of times, whether it be your best friend or a parent, you know they’d be so proud if they could see you preparing to make a lifelong commitment to the one you love. However, before you jump to the assumption that the deceased can’t play a part in your wedding, we bring good news to lighten your mood: they can, and not through the means of some ouija board.
There are many simple (and safer) ways that you and your partner can speak out to and remember your loved ones at your wedding, so to give you some inspiration we’ve made a list of our favourite wedding commemorations:
1) Wedding Bouquet
A sweet and subtle way of commemorating your missing ones can be achieved by placing a small photograph of them within your wedding bouquet. This way, if you’re worried about dampening the celebratory spirit, their presence can be kept a closely guarded secret, but they can still remain close to your heart as you descend down the aisle.
2) Wedding Remembrance Table
Many brides and grooms-to-be will feel that a loved one should have a more significant presence at their wedding. If this is the case, set up a special table for them at your wedding reception complete with candles, photographs and special sentiments that remind you of your times together.
3) Remembrance Chair
Especially in the case of a more recent passing, dedicating a whole table to a lost one may be simply too painful for some of your guests. For a more discreet rememberance, have a seat reserved for them at your ceremony, with their name, a flower and a positive message. Their presence at your ceremony will be like finding a familiar face in a crowded room; comforting and reassuring.
4) Wedding Favours
When you think of your missing one, what springs to mind? Maybe he was never without a cigar between his lips, or perhaps her love for baking stands out in your memory. Give your commemoration a personal touch by supplying your guests with wedding favours that celebrate their life and their personality.
5) Remembrance Tree
You and your partner may have a number of lost ones who you feel should take a front seat at your wedding. For an outdoors wedding, place their photographs onto a tree, or write messages onto a chalkboard for a remembrance that can take a central place at your wedding. Keep it sweet and cheerful and be sure to warn any unsuspecting or particularly sensitive guests of their involvement, so as to not catch their feelings off guard.
6) Remembrance Dove
Releasing a flutter of butterflies or a single dove is a beautiful way of showing your love for your lost ones.
7) Personal Message
For a more animal-friendly alternative give each guest a chinese lantern to release at the end of the wedding or, as a cheaper alternative, you could write a personal message on a balloon and send it into the heavens where your message can be heard.
8) Wedding Program
Include a few words within your wedding program which fondly suggest that your loved one is thought of and remembered. However, remember that you’re hosting a wedding, not a funeral, so keep it short, sweet and sentimental - without making your guests feel like they’re reading a funeral program.
9) Light a Candle
Lighting a single candle at your ceremony is a simple yet effective way of including the deceased in your wedding. Its reassuring light and warmth will keep you calm as you exchange your vows.
If these suggestions aren't suited, why not try standing up and saying a few words in memory of a loved and lost one? It will truly feel like you are giving them a place at your wedding. We’re not saying it will be easy, but keep it lighthearted and you’ll be glad you had the courage to voice your feelings in years to come.
Use Weddy to help find the perfect wedding commemorations for your day.